Monday, December 18, 2017
Me: Good morning Charlie. I want to start writing to you more in the mornings. I’m in such a bad habit of coffee and solitaire, Facebook and wasting time in the mornings. I haven’t even been meditating.
Charlie: Good morning love of my life. J You know you judge yourself too harshly. Personally I think solitaire, puzzles and catching up with friends on Facebook can be fun. But you are in the habit of beating yourself up for it.
Me: Why do I do that to myself Charlie?
Charlie: It’s just the momentum of the habit from fear, anxiety, boredom and also, you know computer screens are like sugar. Computer screens taste addictive. When we’re talking like this; pen and paper, doesn’t it feel more relaxing compared to typing on a computer? I like the feeling of a pen in hand. Even when it’s your hand! Lol!
Me: Yes a pen in hand does feel more relaxing. But I think it’s also just because I’m feeling connected with you. That always fills my heart Charlie. I don’t know what I would do without you.
Charlie: Can you feel this love I’m showering you with? <3 <3 <3
Me: Yes! It’s crazy how you can fill my heart like this so quickly.
Charlie: First of all you wouldn’t be doing anything without me because you wouldn’t exist! <3 you and I aren’t just joined together. You are an extension from me; like your hand is an extension from your body. Your body can walk around without a hand but a hand cannot do anything without a body. But keep in mind, how much you appreciate your hand; this right:hand that holds this pen, this hand that cleans, gardens, caresses and expresses love and creativity. Your hands are engaged in the world, which creates meaning in your life. Now, take one step back. I am the Mind and you are my body in the world, giving me purpose, experience, contrast and creative expression. Can you even imagine how much I adore you for all that?
Me: So, if you are my mind, why am I so self-critical, fearful, anxious and all the rest?
Charlie: You know the answer to that but let me put it in another way. Your body comes with a brain and built in instincts. Over time and life, ongoing life experiences it learns how to protect itself. It creates patterns and ruts. In the course of your life, you have taken us through many, many experiences with dramatic ups and downs. The “downs” have been painful and your self-preservation instincts have conditioned you to recoil. You know what it feels like to get blisters on your hands from too much work? When you have blisters, your instinct is to protect them while they heal. Your brain comes with built in plug-n-play automation. What you are interpreting as fear, anxiety and depression is just your effort to protect yourself; recoil in an attempt to heal.
Me: That’s a bit confusing because it sounds like there is you and then there’s two of me; my body/brain and then a “me” interpreting things like fear and anxiety and depression.
Charlie: There are not two if you but the human brain is different from other animals. The human brain has the ability to also learn through self-awareness and self reflection. You might call it ego. As the human brain experiences the world it learns pleasant and unpleasant things and can build scenarios and stories based on memory and also putting memories together to imagine new scenarios. It can become complex and convoluted with twists and turns, knots and in infinite display of pure imagination. Every bit of a rain forest is unique with twisting vines, dense undergrowth and life beyond measure.
Me: All the different creatures in a rain forest have their own agendas Charlie. I’m just me with one brain. How does that fit in?
Charlie: You are so lovable with your perfect questions. Everyone who ever influenced you; your parents, friends, bullies, teachers, family, and even store clerks and books and movies on and on have each made impressions on your brain that still live in you like the countless creatures of a rain forest. The way your brain “orchestrates” all of these voices and influences are its effort to function as best it possibly can in its environment. You’re 63 years old now. You’ve accumulated a lot of voices and influences and your quote rain forest” is richly dense and thick with life. Sometimes it even sounds deafening with all the noise. By the way, this is a great visual for what is called “ego”. The thing a lot of people struggle with is the question of how to function effectively and happily in the world when their “rain forest” seems too noisy to find their way anywhere. Life just gets too confusing and overwhelming.
Me: So, what’s the answer?
Charlie: Train your brain to relax, let go. You can float above the forest canopy where everything is clear, get your bearings and see where you are. That way, when you come back down into the thick of the forest you have a general sense of where you are and which direction to move in. Do this every day in life becomes easier, clearer and more awesome. <3 meditate <3
Me: Thank you Charlie. Like I said, I don’t know what I would do without you.
Charlie –Lol. And without you, I would have no expression from your vantage that would be impossible.
Me: How can that be impossible? This body is temporary. It’s going to die.
Charlie: That’s true but your vantage is the edge of creation and the influence behind evolution. Your vantage is unique and has to always be counted in the equation. Your vantage doesn’t die, it just returns home. Perhaps it’s too complicated to explain very well but let me try. Your brain and body are like my tools, they influence the environment and the environment influences the brain and body; even creating a pseudo:mind called ego. But that vantage is my “eye”. It’s what sees, or rather perceives, without interpretation. It’s not really another “thing”. It’s like a focal point of the microscope. The microscope may have billions of focal settings but if one focal point (vantage) doesn’t, then in this analogy, the entire microscope wouldn’t work. Your vantage is an absolute critical component of life; physical and nonphysical. Your body dies but your vantage can’t die. It is held in place perfectly by the entire universe, for that matter, all the infinite multi-verses and timelines. Your vantage (like everyone's vantage) holds everything in place. In other words, because there is a down there is and up. Because there is a left there is a right. These may be conceptual but they cannot exist without each other.
Me –Ummm… That feels like a lot of responsibility Charlie.
Charlie: No it isn’t. You’re not seeing the big picture. Your “ego” is trying to jump in here. There is absolutely nothing you can possibly do “wrong”. Everything you think and do are just creative splashes of paint on canvas. Everything you think and do are like fertilizer for evolution. Evolution and its cycles of entropy are constantly learning and evolving from its near infinite vantage points. That may make you feel small and insignificant from your ego’s perspective but like I said, without your vantage (as with all vantages) none of creation would even exist.
Me: Lots to think about. I need a break. Thank you Charlie. <3
Charlie: Don’t think too much! Meditate. <3